1. You Think You’re a Terrible Parent
Unfortunately, the crappy parents think they’re doing an awesome job as their kid edges closely to the electrical socket with a fork, while the awesome parents lie awake in bed, analyzing every aspect of their parenting decision for the day. It’s one of life’s little jokes. If you’re doing things right, you’re paralyzed with fear you’re doing everything wrong. Congrats!
2. You Feel Guilty Taking Even a Moment For Yourself
That pedicure massage chair can only do so much– you do have to relax every now and then. While kids become 99% of our world after we have them, we do have to leave a tiny slice of time for ourselves… guilt-free time.
3. Your Kid Throws An Over-the-Top Tantrum When You Tell Her No
Yeah, people may look at you and judge you for having the kid who’s covering her face and wailing into her hands because you won’t let her have a stuffed My Slutty Little Pony (seriously, what happened to that show?), but the important part is you are teaching her that she can’t have whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. It’s called tough love, and DANG, it sure is tough on us as parents because we want to give them everything their precious heart desires. But, then they grow up thinking they can act like Paris Hilton and… no. Just, no.
4. People Have Deleted You From Facebook Because You Brag About Your Kid So Much
Yes, you’re one of those parents. Those annoying, look-how-cute-my-son-is-eating-a-grilled-cheese, taking pictures of their every waking moment, completely obnoxious parents. Can you help it if you gave birth to a genius child and just want to share them with the world? Who needs those Facebook friends if they don’t get how amazing your prodigy is (and, let’s face it, they got their awesomeness from you).
5. You Have Hidden in the Bathroom to Eat a Cookie in Peace
While this may sound selfish, it’s actually selfless. See, this kind of falls under that “taking a moment for yourself” category. If your kids see you eating a cookie, they’ll want one, and that’s not healthy, so you’re really doing this for the good of their bodies. And, dammit, it’s the last Oreo, and you called it!
6. You Sometimes Accidentally Wake Them Up Because You Make Noise While Watching Them Sleep
Is there anything more angelic than a sleeping child? The long lashes, the look of total peacefulness… the closed mouth? Can you help it if you have to sneeze right in the middle of your adoration? Awesome parents can barely rip their eyes away from their kids. It’s like a magnet.
You’re a great parent. Hang in there. I keep having to tell myself that, even.