Just Keep Swimming

My daughter has recently gotten hooked on Finding Nemo. We watch that dang fish disobey his father, like, a billion times a day.

Nemo isn’t her favorite, though; she’s a huge Dory fan. As a matter of fact, my mom ordered her a stuffed Nemo from Amazon, and she held it in one hand, while digging in the box with the other. She looked at us, her brow all furrowed, and said, “Where’s Dory?”

Sorry, kid, a 12-inch Dory is about $60 on Amazon, and that just ain’t happenin’.

But, even as I roll my eyes every time she asks to watch “fish,” I can’t help but smile and sigh at my favorite line, which just so happens to come from Dory: “Just keep swimming.”

That is what I have had to tell myself the last few weeks, in a nutshell. Just keep swimming. Just keep going.

Jackson keeps having setback after setback. We were planning to go home tomorrow, and now, all of a sudden, they’re talking about putting him back on oxygen because he can’t regulate himself.

We’re going backwards. We’re going backwards, and it makes me tired. I don’t want to keep going; it feels like this ordeal is never going to end, and that my son will never leave that hospital. Is it too much? Is there just too much wrong that his little body can’t do it all?

But, as I think I’ve said in every single blog post since we arrived here on May 11 (my GOD, have we really been here that long?!), we will keep going, because we have to: we don’t have a choice.

Like Dory said, we’ll just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

I just hope we spot land, soon.

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