Last night, I was rocking Jack while watching Twilight (DON’T judge–I was curious), and he had fallen asleep (as most men do who are forced to listen to Robert Pattinson lie about how beautiful Kristen Stewart is, and vice-versa).
One of the many people that come in to do random things in Jackson’s room tiptoed in, and as she was leaving, she paused, turned around and said, “I don’t know how you and your husband do it, with one of y’all staying here every night. It’s amazing how many parents don’t stay, or don’t come, or even call. It’s sad. Your little guy is very lucky.”
So much ran through my mind as she left the room.
1) HOW SAD IS THAT?! I mean, really, how sad is it that she felt compelled to tell us that Jackson is lucky? That it’s great he has parents that care about him enough to make sure he’s never alone in a scary place where people poke him with needles, and strangers randomly put their hands on him to assess him? That breaks my heart to know he’s lucky. He shouldn’t be lucky. That should be the norm. It makes me want to walk around and pull all these hurting, abandoned babies out of their cribs and love all over them.
2) SHAME on these other parents. They don’t deserve to be parents. I don’t care if their baby is just slightly premature and needs a few days to stabilize before going home, you BELONG WITH YOUR BABY. Even if you’re in a wheelchair from a difficult delivery, at least drop by and snuggle them so they smell their mommy! They need to know you were there, loving them, as much as possible. Those first few weeks are essential for bonding.
3) At the very least, call, my GOD. Each day Justin and I switch out after 24 hour shifts, we give each other the run down on the kids. “Jackson had trouble keeping his oxygen up today, so watch out for that later,” or, “Sydney wouldn’t settle down for a nap, so I bet she goes to bed early tonight.” Kids change, and things happen very quickly. It’s your job as a parent to know what’s up with your kids, so you can know what they’ve been through, what works and what doesn’t… and how can you exist not knowing how your newborn handled the day?!
I know that some parents don’t have the luxury of staying with their kiddos every day of a prolonged stay in the NICU, but she implied that some of these babies basically have no one caring about their well-being. Nurses only have time to cuddle babies so much; usually, if their cries are not causing any of their vitals to drop, babies are left to cry it out. And, while I’m a proponent of CIO later on, that’s not a tactic that should be used on newborns.
Just… sad. Jackson is never, ever, EVER left alone up there. Ever. Between me, Justin, my mom, or my dad, there is always someone who loves him a great deal sitting by his crib, making sure every breath he takes is safe, and that nothing unexpected happens to him alone.
I will say, he is a very lucky boy to be incredibly loved by so many. I do agree with that. ❤