I’m All Over The Place

Surgery tomorrow. 9:30.
Not the surgery we wanted, though.

Jack is having his feeding tube implanted in his stomach, and his hernia repaired.

I’m thrilled about the hernia and positively sick over the feeding tube… or, G Button, as it’s called. Google it. It’s like the port on an inner tube, and it will be in my son’s stomach. His beautiful, untouched as of now, tummy.

I want to cry for the continued loss of everything I had planned for him. Who am I kidding? It’s me. I have cried. I AM crying.

I know he’ll be fine, I do. Kids live and grow with them everyday, it’s not the end of the world. But it’s not what I envisioned for him.

I’m angry, furious, at this turn life has taken.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

——-

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